Tuesday, July 18, 2006

12:58 am. Cold air creeping down my neck as the cab speeds towards my apartment, away from your house. Once again my chest is full of pain and my sight blurs with undropped tears. Once again I hide from an innocent conversation with cab driver and look at the passing strips on the road - thinking of the time we spent together. You ended it. Again. But this time for good.

I met you online, typing away my profile content and lustily looking at your photo with that wicked grin on my face. For couple of months we talked - online and on the phone, while my lines were still rigidly drawn and my innocence still intact. Finally, one chilly February night I saw your beautiful brown eyes and boy like steps, I felt your soft skin and we shared the chills of winter night. With my hand wrapped in yours, sucking the heat of your jeans pocket, I walked with the biggest smile on my face and unfelt warmth in my heart. Days passed by and all I thought off was you. My nostrils still had the smell of your perfume and shimmer of your eyes didn't leave my head. You never called. Days passed by and I felt empty. Empty enough to take that small torn piece of paper with your number and call. You were busy renovating and your phone was off. Apparantelly. My world recolored. It was my first Valentine sealed with a kiss - as we cuddled on your sofa and ate chocolate dipped strawberries. I will never forget how tasty your sticky lips were. My world turned around - my days went by with music in my ears. I was in love - in love with the "gorgeousest man on this planet". I started visiting your lovely house and the more I got to know you, the more I loved you. Your garden amazed me, and the love you placed in each flower and grassleaf, the love and devotion you had for your most adorable dog. I thought - if you had so much love for so many things you must be the most adorable being full of love ready to give. And I was ready to give u all the love I had.

Days passed by. I slowly got used to your bedsheets and smell of sweet morning chai. I got used to feeling your body next to mine. My enfatuation slowly became emotion - and you creeped into every aspect of my life. You changed me. I slowly started peaking out of my shell and seeing the world full of colors. With you I felt free, I felt loved. Your touch fed my heart. I will never forget your deep brown eyes and how you looked at me that first time you met me. I was blind to your faults and nothing you possibly did wrong was wrong in my head. Day by day, I got to reveal pieces of your personality. You are an incredible person - full of love and traits we had in common. I craved