kolorit is suffering a colorisis

CUMC 2007 website intro idea

CUMC 2007 official poster

amass from corners of my corpse
all the shredded whispers of my soul
tout me and taint my bleeding womb
dig in me and myself make into my tomb
skin me of sin delirious and frill
in the shears of my evil capture me still
make it right and pray to chain me tight
all this perpetual guilt put out of sight
suck the juices running down my veins
hook the fluffy clouds and knit me veils
then leave me taught and motionless
safe internally and open externally
and take that loving smile full of joy...

out of my way

######################################

In a dire need of recollecting something that was never there
I've replaced my heart with drawings from my childhood
Sailing through the motion picture of my life without compass or wind
I close my eyes in the the slightest sight of shimmering stars
Screams of you and me I've ushered with the painful moans from past
and doomed myself to role of gambit in this endless game i've called love

Nearly broken
not long ago stolen
and perhaps forgotten

how dare you find it?

freeing oneself is still function in my manuel undefined
deep inside my own shadows these chains keep me confined
corners of my mind seem always filled with scars and cold
as if any pleasure my earthly body lives i need to harshly scold
blossomed I have perhaps too early in my short and heavy stay
blue are my leaves and in this silence begins my slow decay
once again
i stare and fill my face with smiles
asking if it was the same peach blue skies
filled with clouds shaped like cotton candy fluff
my virgin eyes used to stare at hoping i could fly
little did i know short would be my glorious flight
and freeing of myself would be my major fight
self defence has no meaning when being fragile is my enemy
flicked away from mirrored souls of my hidden haunted deamons
take a tour - they all push - horoscope of stars they all read
ignorant i stand and unaware of my insides painfull bleed
instead of past and that devil of remorse,
hunted by resent
in fear of mistakes my future might have brought
i will slowly repent
with black and red i can quickly smother all my tiny scars
painted and plastic, stone like and in eyes of all your stars, so perfect
no single motion of my heart and soul i will not be able to detect
scorned and stiched in front of mirror i will fight like dead alive inside
but maybe finally i might stick it up and swallow some of that consuming pride

don't you find it ironic?
that i sound the same like you? like you whom once i've pushed
and to bottom of some sinfull well unmercifully doomed
those words of black and sorrow once came out of you
ignorant of mirrors so easily i've called you You

please
help me, You

Will I burn in flames of my love for you
Or will I burn in flames of infernal punishment
Will I burn or will I parish like your smile after my death
Will I see you from above and grant you happiness
Will I realize forgiving is deserving and deserving nonexistent
Or shall I just rot in oblivion of worms and cold of your absence
Pace this pointless path of my unsettling mind
And for once I demand – don’t try to be kind
Maybe wait another day
Your eyes from this envy of my rest clear away
Amuse me with the irony of my stillness and your pain
Fallen rose and dash of earthly dust that I will become
Tighter and tighter your throat will clench
And your nostrils fill up with your evil’s stench
Tale of my tears you’ll rewrite with your blood as ink
And in resent of your own mistaken ignorance you shall sink
Think!
Should you have not? For the grant of my submissive smile
Wasn’t even bigger than your crackled kitchen tile
Venom for your soul in these fiery rhymes you might find
Given that you managed to outgrow your current state of mind
Battered, torn and easily reborn
This love I had for you will once again find your thorn
And don’t you dare ever ignore something so pure
You dared with your seduction to oblivion to lure
For I will hunt you from within shadows of your fears
And bleed you will
Of my fitted body, bleed will creases in your skin

Weep away my disgusting lovely love
Does me motionless finally make you cry
Do I hear of your nonexistent heart painful sigh?
For even if I burn I will beg
In a dessert of your emotions I will wait
To see your lies flow away and your eyes without glaze
You once told me was your unmistaken loving haze

Die… already, love….





some fun shots in Lighthouse park - and a sad realization i need a better camera :(